Lost Art, Found Hope

This cold November rain has had me in the house for most of the day today.

I can't get out of my own way lately, clutter on every surface of the studio, muse nowhere to be found. I'm floundering and doubting my ability as an artist.

I read Mim's post today about decluttering and finding art done from years past and it inspired me to look through some old drawings in the hopes of finding my muse.

I may be getting close.

The above drawing I have shown here once before. It's a pencil drawing of Nastasia Kinsky from a pose in a magazine. I did this in 1978. Look how much it has yellowed.

This is a portrait in pencil of Pablo Picasso. Although I'm primarily self-taught, I did have a very short stint at college and I became obsessed with this artist. I did this same portrait in every medium. The ones that are missing (or are in boxes still) is the aquatint etching and the lino cut. This is also from 1978.

This was my very first ever attempt at painting anything. And this was my only time using oils. I hated painting back then! Who knew that it would become my passion one day?

This wacky portrait made it into a juried show at the Brockton Art Museum in the late seventies and it took Honorable Mention.

It hangs in my studio now with dust and fond memories. 

And here is another assignment I stumbled upon. I did this scratchboard in 1979 for a graphic design class. Or was it drawing? I don't remember. But I do know I copied it from an old book of fairy tales and I don't remember which one. Grimms, most likely.

I do remember this being quite a challenge to think in "negative."

And you can see my scratched in signature, "Porter 79."

I'm needing to be able to paint when the mood strikes, but what I think is in my way is what am I to do with all these paintings?

I can only bring so many to the gallery that I have joined. And my paintings are too pricey for the other shop that carries my cards.

So I have this sinking feeling that I'm wasting my time when I should be scouring the state for work. This is not the economy for artists, unfortunately.

So, here's the answer to myself.

Paint anyway. Paint your heart out.

Draw.  Sketch. Create!

So now I'll paint just for the sake of painting.

I'll make art to maintain some level of sanity,

And I'll thank my ancestors every day for passing along this gift.

Thanks for the kick in the pants Mim, even though you had no idea!♥