Thursday, November 04, 2010

Lost Art, Found Hope

This cold November rain has had me in the house for most of the day today.
I can't get out of my own way lately, clutter on every surface of the studio, muse nowhere to be found. I'm floundering and doubting my ability as an artist.
I read Mim's post today about decluttering and finding art done from years past and it inspired me to look through some old drawings in the hopes of finding my muse.
I may be getting close.
The above drawing I have shown here once before. It's a pencil drawing of Nastasia Kinsky from a pose in a magazine. I did this in 1978. Look how much it has yellowed.

This is a portrait in pencil of Pablo Picasso. Although I'm primarily self-taught, I did have a very short stint at college and I became obsessed with this artist. I did this same portrait in every medium. The ones that are missing (or are in boxes still) is the aquatint etching and the lino cut. This is also from 1978.

This was my very first ever attempt at painting anything. And this was my only time using oils. I hated painting back then! Who knew that it would become my passion one day?
This wacky portrait made it into a juried show at the Brockton Art Museum in the late seventies and it took Honorable Mention.
It hangs in my studio now with dust and fond memories. 

And here is another assignment I stumbled upon. I did this scratchboard in 1979 for a graphic design class. Or was it drawing? I don't remember. But I do know I copied it from an old book of fairy tales and I don't remember which one. Grimms, most likely.
I do remember this being quite a challenge to think in "negative."
And you can see my scratched in signature, "Porter 79."

I'm needing to be able to paint when the mood strikes, but what I think is in my way is what am I to do with all these paintings?
I can only bring so many to the gallery that I have joined. And my paintings are too pricey for the other shop that carries my cards.
So I have this sinking feeling that I'm wasting my time when I should be scouring the state for work. This is not the economy for artists, unfortunately.
So, here's the answer to myself.
Paint anyway. Paint your heart out.
Draw.  Sketch. Create!
So now I'll paint just for the sake of painting.
I'll make art to maintain some level of sanity,
And I'll thank my ancestors every day for passing along this gift.
Thanks for the kick in the pants Mim, even though you had no idea!♥


  1. These are wonderful works! I love the portrait of Kinsky - the yellowing looks like a wash of honey. Also love the idea of doing one portrait in different media - fascinating!

    Keep on painting - you have such a gift. ♥

  2. blogging is truly therapy when you have such lovely friends ♥


    the rest will take care of its self, because it always does :)

    have fun finding your muse and uncovering your treasures (beautiful work!!) being tucked away organizing a studio on a cold rainy day sounds heaven to me...

  3. I believe you will do your best work if you forget the world, and just paint what you want to, the way you want to. It's the same with writing. I have to kick the editor off of my shoulder (the one with the pitchfork) and just enjoy the ride. Or as a dear friend of mine says, "Stop thinking so much and just write!" I love your keep painting and drawing and doodling!! xox Pam

  4. Holey moley Lolo, these are awesome!! I love each one. I hope you find that elusive muse so you can get going again. Don't you hate it when they disappear!

  5. These old works should jump start the ole muse. Don't give up Lolo. The world is a better place for your efforts.

  6. Oh my goodness, YOU have these feelings as an artist? I thought it was only the newbees like myself who felt this way!!!
    So I guess it's simply NORMAL.

    I too liked seeing your early works that are all oh so good. As I adore all of your art Lolo and am glad you will create to your hearts content!!!

  7. I'm glad I could help Lo - so glad. I also want to stop myself from working on 3 dimensional items as I have no place to store them, but an assemblage is rattling around in my brain and I have to get it out!! So, I will allow myself to create totally non-sell-able artwork and enjoy the process.
    For me - showing you all my artwork - it's SUCH a giant step.

    Lo - your talent is awesome. Yes, the economy sucks. But you still have to do what you love - be it on the side, or as a major work investment.

    xoxoxo, mim

  8. beautiful work. your talent shines strong through the years. Create create create. Let go of the questions. Just be there in the creative now, for you, for us, for your spirit and soul. That's why to create.

    Dont you think we go through ebbs and flows of creative energy. Im thinking of how Cris stepped away from painting for awhile and now she is back to it again. Those ebbs and flows are natural and to be honored and blessed.

    Another rainy day here today and am off to the mammogram. I dont like driving in rain, but had to do it yesterday afternoon too to get my overdue/forgotten car inspection done so I wouldnt get a ticket.

  9. I am not at all surprised that your talent shone through - even at an early age.... it DOES flow through your genes...

    All of these early works are wonderful!

    I know you will just "let go" and paint, draw, dream.... because that is what makes you - LO! Your gift is huge - and you need to keep using it....the world needs more Studio Lolo art!


    ♥ Robin ♥

  10. lo, what a treat for me to see these early works. WOW! my favorite is the first one, ms. kinsky. how much you've captured in the fallback of her head, her nostrils, her hair...

    you have to paint and create lo. you know you do. if $$$ takes away from that, then maybe your day job pays the bills and your universe job paints the mystery and the magic.

    i just love this look back. that talent in your fingers, in your heart: GIGANTIC!!!

  11. Holy Cow! If this is the art that comes from NO lessons, then I have a loooong way to go! Fabulous stuff!
    I like your advice to yourself. I, also, paint for the fun of it. I hate trying to sell my work. All that anxiety and apprehension, ugh! Maybe you could just pile it up and do some art shows next summer. In any case, keep painting, just for the fun of it.

  12. Hey Lo, I am a little late getting here. I can relate, I also have a zillion paintings I need to sell.
    I am thinking of listing all the ones under $2,000 on my ETSY site, what the hell. I think you could sell for more than you think on ETSY. You have more saleable work than me, abstract it a hard sell in some places. Thank you for sharing all your wonderful older works. I too once was obsessed with Picasso :-). Don't stop painting, I am convinced that doing what you love is the way to go. Kisses to Bliss and Emma. xoxo

  13. I find it odd or cosmic or something that I happen by on this post. Not everything is about making money-and I'm weary of people trying to assign a dollar sign to how I spend my life.

    Yes, we have to pay the bills-but I'd rather have a little less stuff and a lot more LIFE than the other way around.

    Love you-keep painting.

  14. thank you all.

    This wasn't meant to be a whine or a rant. I just feel guilty making art for arts sake when I don't have a job to pay the bills.

    But if you notice the lightbulb DID go off and I realized I must keep creating, and I will.

    Thanks for the love and insight ♥

  15. We're trying to lighten the load around here, in case another move should suddenly appear soon. I found a large box stuck in the back of a closet, and there were all the paintings and drawings I had done so many years ago. And you know what...they weren't so bad. I'd last looked at them years ago with a very critical eye.

    I'm glad I didn't throw them reminds me of a different time. I rarely paint anymore. But with the finding of this box, I've begun to draw again...pen and ink, charcoal and pencil, pastels.

    It's great how we re-find a muse who has hidden herself away all these years. You have such incredible talent, Lolo...keep on painting and putting your art on Etsy.

    Just let me know as soon as you put them up, know I can't resist your art!!!

  16. Oh, those are interesting and lovely! Life is so circular - seems like you are re-claiming future work by re-discovering past work.

  17. Wow, scratchboard. Boy that brings back memories. My dad worked in corrections back in the 60s and 70s. He was the sargeant at a conservation camp. One of the prisoners did scratchboard work and showed me how to do it. I think I still have it around someplace. Probably in a box just like some of your old art. I imagine it will surface one of these days.

  18. You have such a special gift dear you simply must paint!
    But if you get too much paintings for both shops try to find a third one! Maybe I should come to RI and we visit some galleries ;) You remember I said I wanted to be your agent.
    But I think it is important that you paint and create dear and I think Lori is right.
    De cluttering is always good for the spirit but so is letting your creative juices flow so tidy up that studio and just enjoy what you are doing.
    Sometimes feeling pressure works paralyzing...........I know that feeling but getting things done will make things flow again.
    Fun to see some of your older work!
    And I have seen that Picasso in real! Yeah!


  19. Really like that did a super job on that...keep your chin up...I think the blahs seem to be hitting a bunch of people right now...ever try playing with sculpy????

  20. WOnderful pieces, gorgeous linework and encouraging sentiment. I understand how it is to be in the way of ones self and the disappointment of a stale economy.. but you are correct, stay creative, enjoy the process and paint, play, draw!!! :)