Saturday, April 12, 2008

IF : Fail at a new attempt



Today was one of those days that I couldn't stand to be in the room with myself because I was so miserable. Have you ever had one of those days? The day started out okay because it started with animals I had to care for and I love every one of them. After that I was looking forward to some quiet time at the studio to work on my illustration for this week BUT it is the weekend of "Good Old Days" in Pacific Grove which means good luck finding parking anywhere within 10 blocks of the studio and good luck blocking out the NOISE of the bands and the SMELLS of the generators and burnt meat and my studio was right across the street from the NEVER-ENDING-DRUM-SOLOS and honest to God I thought I was going to lose my mind. So I took a deep breath, well, deep enough so as not to be filled up with gasoline and seared pork, and I embarked on a new project. I attempted to paint a mandala because I bought such a beautiful mandala painting this week and I was so inspired to try one. The outside music made my brush go faster than I wanted it to and I felt rushed and disconnected. I tried to get in touch with my "inner music" but couldn't. The more I painted, the more I felt I was messing up. I finally put my hands over my face, took a deep breath ( almost sobbed) and then decided what I painted was finished enough. Then I poured a glass of wine (hey, don't judge, it was beyond five o'clock!) and used my rubber stamps to do another mandala.

I do feel this was a failed attempt for what I was trying to accomplish, but if I find myself afraid to fail, then I'm holding back from trying new things. So here you go. Two mandalas, two approaches.
first mandala: acrylic, watercolor, colored pencil
second mandala: rubber stamps, colored pencil
For Illustration Friday prompt : Fail

28 comments:

  1. I think you were quite successful actually, at not losing it totally on "one of those days" and you're posted work looks just lovely!

    a : )

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  2. I really like both pieces! You still managed to accomplish beautiful work regardless of the icky distractions & feeling a little disconnected. Very sweet :)

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  3. Laurel - you need to get an IPOD (or good ear plugs!) I really feel for you, I have the same problems only minor compared to what you describe. Kudos to you for keeping at it, these mandalas are serene & beautiful despite your nasty distractions!!

    Btw, in my latest post I've mentioned you and your art. Keep on, keepin' on girl! You rock :)

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  4. Well done for keeping going, and they are both beautiful despite thinking that you have failed.
    Caroline
    X

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  5. Love both of them, you did not fail.

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  6. isn't it funny what we might consider failures that others see as successes? You know your mood and feelings when painting - and you can't let that go, but somehow it all came out looking lovely to others.

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  7. YOU MUST BE A VEGETARIAN AND AN ARISTOCRAT.WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE WAS TO LEAVE THE STUDIO,GO ACROSS THE STREET AND HAVE A PULLED PORK SANDWICH AND A BEER WITH THE PEOPLE THAT WERE ENJOYING THEMSELVES,IT WOULD HAVE FIT THE MOMENT AND GIVE YOU ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE INSTEAD OF JUST WINE AND SALAD.OTHER THAN THAT I THINK YOUR WORK IS BEAUTIFUL.
    MON AMI PICASSO

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  8. Well the journey was definitely worth it. I like both of them. One is very delicate and light and the other bolder but still lovely.

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  9. From where I sit, I agree with sandra; and with the idea of joining in, at least for a little while, proposed by anonymous. Having a look 'round with a sketch pad might have made the unbearable a lot more interesting. Come to think of it, a milling crowd is somewhat of a mandala in itself, isn't it? At the same time, I think the real issue here is lack of parking in Pacific Grove! Wait just a darned minute! What am I saying? More parking means more people, more pulled pork, more drum solo's and ... never mind! :D

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  10. OMG I guess I'm a bit whiney here! Looking back, Mick had a great idea about sketching the crowds. I wish I'd thought of that. I was too driven to do Illustration Friday, esp since it was already Saturday! BTW, Anonymous is my brother who always gives good advice and calls me Picasso : )

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  11. i wondered who anonymous was, as his words have such affection in them!
    you and i are once again on the same wavelength (surprise surprise) see my post.
    your two mandalas are magnificent, but i know what you mean by inner discord.
    you go picasso go!

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  12. These mandalas are beautiful! They may not be what you had in mind (and thus qualify for failure) but they are beautiful. I have never seen a failed mandala. Try again without any ideas in mind and see what happens.

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  13. to me they both seem beautiful - the effort shows.
    sometimes making a mess is the goal, but you know me - I am queen of messes.
    if only I could make lovely flowers like this, but I can't.
    You can, and you do.
    so pats on the back for these - they are lovely!

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  14. Your post made me smile for two reason; I know exactly how one of those days feel like, and you are not even close to failure. Your two illos, and your work on this blog all-together, is so beautiful. :))

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  15. I can SOOOO relate to what you were feeling. As artists, there is no one as hard on us as we ourselves are. Please don't call these mandalas "failures" - they are actually quite lovely!
    Regina

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  16. they are both beautiful and I'm amazed you got anything accomplished after reading about your day !! A glass of wine ?? judge ?? I would have had a martini...make that a double :D

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  17. I must be having your yesterday today or something. I'm trying a new tactic, just giving into the mood to seew hat happens. So far, nothing much has happened. and my mood hasn't lightened, but the day is young and there is always hope.

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  18. I think these are beautiful!! Colors are serene and sit so well- could never tell what all was going on outside your studio. They look like they are from the 18th-19th century. Peaceful universe here despite outside chaos. When life gives you burnt meats and never ending drum solos... create another beautiful mandala.

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  19. I understand how you feel you didn't accomplish what you set out to and that can be so frustrating. However, (and this is a lesson I am in the process of learning,) sometimes the unintended end up being pretty special. (These pieces certainly are!) We sometimes force instead of going with the flow.

    I had a cosmo last night, and I wasn't even in a bad mood, so no judgement here, hee hee. Cheers, you rock!

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  20. I saw the mandalas *before I read your comments*, and I thought they were both rather 'peaceful' looking. Especially the first one. It left me with a feeling of freshness, growth & Spring. Little did I know the turmoil you were dealing with when you painted them. So there you have it - they're beautiful ANYWAY. :-)

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  21. Catherine ElizabethApril 15, 2008 8:30 AM

    If you had a particular accent and read "fail" backward, it would sound like "life".
    That paired with a mandala or two sounds about right to me. By the way, Lo, I love them both. Yin Yang Love, Catherine Elizabeth

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  22. Beautiful! If I hadn't read your comments, with personal understanding by the way, I would have thought you had created these
    in a serene place. The circle is so calming to me and these absolutely wonderful mandalas speak in soothing whispers of your love for the art and your willingness to put for the effort when needed.
    You go girl! I always love what you create and have to say about it.

    http://justgiddy.typepad.com

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  23. i've had days like that too. accomplishing those 2 lovely pieces despite the bad mood is very admirable :-)

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  24. Like mim said it's funny how things we consider failures are interpreted differently by others. I guess if we kept quiet, noone would know. Both of your mandalas seem like a success to me. Thanks for coming by my blog!

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  25. They are both gorgeous Laurel. You work well under stress!

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  26. You should have went out and danced the day away with the drummers. Sometimes, the distractions just won't go away and you have to stop. That's been my last 2 weekends. The daily grind just won't let me be.

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  27. These are beautiful mandalas. I love mandalas!
    Maybe if they were not created in peace they brought you to it.....

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